According to a recent article in U.S. News & World Report, about 18 million Americans now practice yoga.
      A disproportionate share of these people are educated singles in their 20’s and 30’s, a demographic that figures heavily among theatregoers. What was, just a few years ago, a somewhat obscure practice by a few devoted students of eastern philosophies has become pop culture and the fastest growing trend in fitness today. Yoga studios are springing up on street corners accross the country while the Dalai Lama preaches Buddhist ideals to sold out sports arenas.

DETAILS
Budget: $1.2 million with $.25 million in place
Talent: Lead actors will have name recognition.
All territories open

Charismatic young gangster Joey “The Matzo Ball” Manischevitz always blamed his spectacular failures on a psycho-pharmacological disorder resulting from his mixed breeding. But like a good father, local mob boss Vinny Rigatoni refused to lose faith in his illegitimate son and in fact, Joey‘s first venture for Rigatoni Enterprises proves wildly successful as his newsletter “The Mob Monthly,” brings organized crime into the world of modern communications. But his success is dramatically cut short when the printer mistakenly sends the fledgling publication to the mailing list for “The FBI 10 Most Wanted Mobsters”. This fiasco almost costs Joey his life, not to mention his corner office atop Rigatoni Enterprises.
     Needing to support his new trophy mob wife Crystal, Joey comes up with the brilliant idea to solve Vinny’s money-laundering problem by convincing him to let Joey set up a Yoga studio, figuring The Feds will never suspect a bunch of “New Agers” could possibly be a front for the mob. Over the next few years Yoga takes off and Vinny’s making more money at “Joey’s Power Yoga Emporium” than all his illicit businesses combined. Joey is once again restored to prominence as Vinny’s heir apparent. When a beaming Joey hires a beautiful and spiritually evolved yoga instructor named Silvia, he is lovestruck as she takes him on a path of spiritual awakening. But trouble is looming on the horizon.
      The Buddhist Mob, led by their Dalai Lama-esque guru “The Holiest One,” is fresh off their successful franchising of “Buddha Bing Pizza Parlors” throughout Asia. Their extensive research has found that the market is ready for new Super-Heated “Turbo-Power Yoga”, where temperatures approach 150 degrees Fahrenheit! Soon TV news shows report people are losing as much as 50 lbs in one session of Turbo Power Yoga as it becomes the latest diet craze. Joey’s studio hangs near bankruptcy as he faces one more failure and certain banishment from the family business. To make things worse, Crystal has found out that Silvia is in fact a transsexual, which she delights in making perfectly clear to her cheating husband. This sends Joey on a hilarious homophobic, heterosexual-affirming rampage as he pursues sex with every biological women he can lay his hands on in a desperate yet fruitless attempt to rid himself of his desires for Silvia.
     With his personal life and business in shambles, Silvia’s lessons prove inspirational as Joey conjures a bold new ‘contrarian’ idea. They will drop temperatures in the studio way down... to a “bone chilling” 25 degrees... they will freeze out toxins and negative thinking... they will synthesize Cryogenics and Yoga. Joey’s new concept will be known as “Frozen Yoga!” Vinny is excited but skeptical as he warns Joey that it better work or else.
     One year later, “The Ice Man Cometh” proclaims the cover of the international magazine “Yoga Today” which pictures Joey in lotus position atop a huge block of Ice. Joey is finally smiling.            (WGAe registered)